After weeks of toil, I’ve added a new feature that will, in theory, finally offer an answer to the question posed by my site address. If you visit the front page, you’ll find a link to a mapping system that Google has generously made available to the public, and it does a pretty good job of pinpointing where the hell I am – not to mention where I’ve been, if that’s of any interest.
I’d like to thank Jason Howard for turning me on to this idea, helping to set me up, and tolerating my incessant badgering when I couldn’t get the thing to work right.
I haven’t tested the mapping system on many other machines. I imagine slow computers or slow connections will have a hard time with it, and possibly non-IE browsers as well. If that’s the case, I apologize. I tried to keep it out of the way of things so folks can still explore the site without having to bother with it.
If you are able to view the maps, I hope you enjoy messing around and please send me any feedback.
As you can clearly see from the above image, Alanis Morissette greatly enjoys wiggling her head while watching my dancing video on an impractically enormous cell phone. Surely, this warrants no further explanation.
…but if you feel you really need one, you can find it here.
I’ve been asked by the nice folks at iFilm to judge a contest in which people submit their own dancing videos. I’ll pick the top eleven, which will then be passed along to Mrs. Morissette for the final rankings.
Let me make it clear that I do not find any of this to be the least bit strange. Nope. Not at all. This sort of thing happens to me all the time.
I don’t anticipate having any direct contact with Mrs. Morissette, and will therefore not have an opportunity to engage her in a dialogue about the correct definition of the word, "irony". I was hoping to suggest some additional song lyrics that might transform the scenarios depicted in her song toward her intended purpose.
Experiencing rain on your wedding day, for example, might become ironic if either the bride or groom is, in fact, a meteorologist.
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break? Not ironic in and of itself. But if you happen to be a lobbyist pushing for a ban on public smoking – now we’re in the neighborhood.
Hitting a traffic jam when you’re already late? That’s simply unfortunate. But it could become irony-inducing if it was made clear that you were on your way to give a lecture on the importance of mass transit. I can understand how it might be difficult to make that one rhyme.
But alas, this conversation will never happen. And perhaps that’s for the best.
…just a quick clarification: the above phone is not actually “impractically enormous.” It is sensibly proportioned. It turns out that Alanis Morissette is just incredibly miniature.
…kidding about that. She’s normal-sized, as is the phone. And she makes wonderful songs. And the phone makes wonderful…phone calls.
I’m stopping now.